The Mighty Doofus

[ArcherFish]

In anticipation for HeartGold and SoulSilver, I thought I'd do a Bidoof solo run on my old Pearl version, presented in prose format. >_>

Kisu awoke one afternoon to a special on the discovery channel. Something about a Red Gyarados. "This is new?" Kisu asked himself, "I coulda sworn I caught one of those almost 10 years ago..."

He left his house only to run into his best friend, Estevan. "Wanna go to the lake and find a Red Gyarados?" Estevan asked.

"GameFAQs says the only thing to find there are Psyducks and the occasional Starly, but okay. I've got nothing better to do."

Kisu and Estevan went to the Verity Lakefront, where they saw a young girl and a suspicious old man observing the lake.

"I love it when you take me to these kinds of places, Professor," the girl sayed in a swoony voice.

"Stop following me, creepy jailbait girl. People are going to think I'm a cradle robber."

The old man and the young girl left, but Estevan noticed that the left something behind.

"It's a bag. Wanna see if they have anything cool?"

"Suuuuuure."

But just as they were about to open the bag, they were attacked by two vicious Starly!

"Quick, grab the balls inside the bag! They might have Pokemon inside!" Estevan cried.

"I dunno," Kisu sighed, "there's a pretty heavy looking rock right there."

"QUICK!"

Kisu and Estevan grabbed some balls and released the pokemon inside. Kisu found a Piplup, which he named HappyFeet. Estevan discovered a Turtle hat he named Eldoradimon. Togther they made quick work of the dangerous wild pokemon, recalled their pokemon and began to leave.

"That was enough action to last me a lifetime!" Estevan commented.

"Yeah," said Kisu, "We totally almost died."

As they were leaving, they ran into the girl from earlier.

"Oh no! Did you actually USE those pokemon? Oh, Proffy-kun will be so upset! I may never win his heart now! Quick, come with me!"

Never having talked this long to something in a skirt before, both Kisu and Estevan followed the girl outside of the lakefront to route 201, where they met the old man.

"Hello, young men," he said in a thick scottish accent. "So you are the rascals who stole my balls?"

Kisu and Estevan were too ashamed to say anything.

"Very well then. Goodbye."

Proffy-kun and the girl went off in the direction of Sandgem town.

Kisu and Estevan both went home, where their parents were furious at them for taking someone's Pokemon without permission. They were told to go to Sandgem town and return them.

"Oh, so you've returned?" Proffy-kun exclaimed when they got there. "There's no use returning those pokemon. I was going to trade them for a Movie 10 Darkrai, but they're not worth anything unless they're UT. You can keep them."

"Shweet," remarked Kisu.

"But as punishment, you have to take this IPhone and fill the Pokedex app with entries of 200 pokemon."

"Aw shucks," murmured Estevan.

So their journey began...

Kisu made his way towards Jubilife city. That's when he ran into his favorite Pokemon: Dunsparce!

"Oh yeah, I've totally gotta catch this!" Kisu threw a pokeball, but it bounced off. Then he got a text message on his Iphone. "You need the NationalDex for that one, n00blet!"

Then Kisu ran into his least favorite Pokemon, a Bidoof. "Sure, why not."

Kisu threw a pokeball, and caught the freak of evolution. "That was my last pokeball, and with the economy so terrible, I can't afford any more. Looks like I'm doing a solo run."

Before continuing, Kisu thought he should level up his Bidoof (He named it Doofus). He ran into another Vicious Starly, which critical'd Doofus, knocking it out in one hit.

"This...is going to be fun."

To be continued...

[TheMagicalHo-oh]

This had me laughing out loud! This is very creative of you! Especially the iPhone part--which would be a great Pokedex.

Really do continue, this is great!
***Yeah, that is freaking funny when he couldn't catch the Dunsparce, that would had really gotten me mad if we could find pokemon from the National Pokedex before we beated the Elite Four.

[pokefreak]

Epic LMAO the whole way threw.

[Psycho__Ryan]

I loved it, but I don't think this goes here.

[ArcherFish]

Kisu finally made it to Jubilife city with his slightly stronger Bidoof.

"Hello youngster!" Yelled a very official looking man. "Would you like to find my gay clowns for a chance to win a PokeWatch?"

"No thanks, I already have an iphone."

Kisu walked away as the man murmured under his breath, "I'll get you Steve Jobbs if it's the last thing I do. Or my name isn't William Gates!"

Kisu spent some time grinding his Bidoof north of Jubilife, then he headed East towards Orburgh, where he could earn his first gym badge.

"Hey Kisu!"

"Oh hey Estevan."

"Wanna battle?"

"Okay, sure..."

"I choose you, Starly!"

"...&*^$ me."

This starly wasn't nearly as vicious as the other ones he'd encountered, though. It went down fairly easy. Then Estevan sent out Turtwig.

"Turtwig," Estevan cried, "Use withdraw x 6!"

"Bidoof! Use tackle!"

Originally Posted by ShoddyBattle

Doofus (Bidoof lv. 9) used tackle!
Eldoradimon (Turtwig lv. 9) lost 1 HP (<1%)

Kisu: stop defense spamming, nub
Kisu left the match!

...I eventually came back and knocked him out. Currently inside Orburgh Gate.

And I just learned: Bidoof doesn't learn any water-type attacks. Roark is going to be fun. >_>

[Vinni57]

Comedey Gold!

[Arceus]

I lol'd hard. Keep writing more!

[ArcherFish]

Kisu headed East toward the Orburgh Gate. A couple of younger trainers challenged him, but Doofus was proving to be quite the busy beaver, and made short work of all challengers.

"Hey thee young man!" Yelled a hiker as Kisu entered the gate, "I see you don't have any gym badges. Here, this could help you on your way!" The hiker gave Kisu the HM6, Rock Smash.

"Wow, an iphone, gay clowns watches, Hidden Machines, these Sinnoh trainers sure are generous. Wait...rock smash is a fighting move!" Kisu frantically searched Bulbapedia on his Iphone and saw that Bidoof could learn it. "Oh, thank you God, so much!" he prayed. He quickly taught it to Doofus, and made his way to Orburgh, where he was interrupted by another trainer.

"Hey you don't have any gym badges? Everyon must think you're a total noob, right?"

"nou"

"Well there's a gym right over there, but it seems like someone is already over there."

It was Esetevan. "Hey Kisu! The gym leader isn't here yet. He left to the coal mines a little while ago. Lucky me, I caught him before he left and won the Coal Badge. My ElDoradimon made short work of his rock type pokemon!" Estevan left, and Kisu headed towards the mines to find Roark.

"You have the hidden move Rock Smash? You know you can smash rocks with it?" Asked an older trainer in a hard hat in the mines.

"I would've never guessed..."

"I'm Roark, the gym leader. I also manage the coal mines. Come battle me some time!"

So after a small string of pointless detours, Kisu finally made it to the gym ready to fight Roark. Doofus's rock smash made short work of the gym trainers, but Roark was another story.

Even after buffing up with defense curl ad taking out Geodude, Roark's Onix kept screeching and nulling the effect. (good thing Doofus had simple, and only had to defense curl once for each screech.)

After finally beating Onix, Roark sent out his signature Pokemon, Carniados. After one pursuit attack, Doofus was down for the count.

Kisu wasn't discouraged, however. After healing at a pokemon center he came back for a rematch and...lost again to a Pursuit attack.

"At least you're gaining experience points from all these losses," Kisu sighed.

He came back for a second rematch. Doofus, now level 15, easily defeated both Geodude and Onix. Luckily, Onix hadn't screeched at all, and Doofus had +6 defense. Doofus started a Rollout attack to finish off the last sliver of Onix's HP.

Craniados opened with Pursuit, and it hardly dented Doofus. Two Rollouts later, Craniados was finally out, and Kisu won the Coal Badge!

Roark gave him the ST\tealth Rock TM as a reward, and he left the gym to rest at a pokemon center.

[Ace]

I really enjoyed this one. And you're right. I always did think that they were gay clowns...

[darkrai.1]

Nice work, this is awesome.